The Wall Street Journal opinion section has cracked the secret code of the Obama Administration policies. I, personally, had been looking for it using such tried and true methods as the Batman Decoder ring, Forked Tongue Method and the Clueless Idiot cryptography methods, but nothing fit for every instance.
So, it was either multiple codes being used, or my meager investigations were missing some vital piece of the puzzle. It seems that the answer is the latter, for the methodology and explicit descriptions given by the WSJ peg the policy pronouncements exactly. My hat goes off to them for being the first to break the code. (Can anyone say Windwalkers II, The Wrath of Rahm?)
The key to the cypher? South Park Gnomes.
I know it sounds impossible that a South Park episode from 1998 could play such a key role in decrypting this Administration’s policies, but once you read the article, you will be enlightened and entertained all at once.
Here is an excerpt:
What’s the big idea? The gnomes explain:
“Phase One: Collect underpants.
“Phase Two: ?
“Phase Three: Profit.”
Lest you think there’s a step missing here, that’s the whole point. (“What about Phase Two?” asks one of the kids. “Well,” answers a gnome, “Phase Three is profits!”) This more or less sums up Mr. Obama’s speech last week on Guantanamo, in which the president explained how he intended to dispose of the remaining detainees after both houses of Congress voted overwhelmingly against bringing them to the U.S.
The president’s plan can briefly be described as follows. Phase One: Order Guantanamo closed. Phase Two: ? Phase Three: Close Gitmo!
Perhaps this explains Glorious Leader’s ‘mater of grave concern’ comment regarding North Korea’s nuke test the other day?
Read the entire article here. Be prepared to wet yourself. I did.
The revolution is at hand. Will you be a leader or a follower?